The pirates of the Red Dragon in Port Aransas, Texas are the scurviest lot of scallawags and hooligans you’ll find in these waters.
These plunderers, pillagers and looters spend most of their time hoarding treasure, drinking rum and shaking their fists at the decent people of Port Aransas, TX and nearby shipping channels. If there are ever any pimiento cheese sandwiches or corn nuts anywhere in the area the pirates will demand that the nice citizens surrender these goods and the pirates then proceed to eat them right in front of their victims. One citizen who prefers to remain anonymous exclaims, “Someone has to stop these guys! My wife spent a good part of the morning making those sandwiches for our fishing trip and the pirates demanded that we surrender our ice chests and they ate all of the pimento cheese sandwiches right in front of her while she wept uncontrollably. I also lost two packs of corn nuts to the dread pirate Bones McCraken. This all might sound cheesy but it’s also nuts!”
A spokesperson for the local authorities including the Coast Guard and Homeland Security boat says the Red Dragon is a force they are not prepared to deal with as the combination of the Red Dragon’s might and Captain Silverbeard’s ruthlessness is just too overwhelming. “We wish there was something we could do to stop them,” explained a spokesperson who would also like to remain anonymous.